Fools think their own way is right, but the wise listen to advice. Proverbs 12:15

     “But Mike,” he said, “what if they are right?” My former mentor and colleague Rev. Dick Nieman and I were talking about a controversial project before the Church Council. The conversation had gone back and forth until it was clear no conclusion could be reached. So, the project was tabled until the next monthly meeting. And I had been frustrated. The project was one that I really believed in and I couldn’t understand how anyone could actually disagree. So, Dick and I had talked about it. That’s when he said what he did.
     It stopped me in my tracks. I had been so convinced of my own perspective I hadn’t really listened to what others were saying. When I stopped and considered the possibility that they may actually be right, I had to listen in a new way.
     The next month, the topic was taken “off the table” for consideration and a more reasoned approach was taken. The project was approved with some modifications – and, frankly, it was a better project for it.
     That was a great lesson for me. It reminded me that in order to really listen I have to hear the other person as if they could be right – not listen while arranging my rebuttal even as they speak.
     The proverb above is a gem of wisdom. It reminds us that wisdom is open to alternative perspectives – not just to accept them but to think them through more clearly. Once thought through carefully, our convictions will have a degree of confidence not felt before.
     There is a difference between conviction – being stubborn – and being bull headed. The difference is in our willingness to listen to other opinions and reflect on what we think is right. I have rarely been embarrassed by my convictions. I have often been embarrassed by my own “bull headedness.”
     When I read that proverb, it was like a cool breeze suddenly come to a stale room. So, the next time you find yourself unable to hear a different opinion, remember the proverb and ask yourself, as Dick Nieman taught me to ask myself, “What if they are right?” Even if you don’t change your opinion, you’ll feel better and you will have listened more carefully.
                            Lord Jesus, help me to humbly listen to others – especially when I disagree with them. Amen