Martha said to Jesus, "Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died." John 11:21

"If only.." There are few phrases so common to humankind than this one. We use it when we regret something we have done; and we use it when we wish things could have turned out differently. In the midst of grief, I have heard it said in reference to the desire to have intervened earlier and, thereby, created a different outcome. I have heard it, in the same context, used as a prayer after the fact - "If only God had acted.."

In the 11th chapter of John's Gospel, Martha and Mary both say "if only" to Jesus. "If only you had been here our brother would not have died." They lament the absence of Jesus in their time of need. They grieve over the outcome of his inaction and lack of attention. "If only.." they sigh.

There are two clear lessons in John 11 about the "if onlys" of our lives. The first is found in Jesus' response to the grief of Martha and Mary. He weeps. Our "if onlys" break God's heart. God hears and feels our pain and sorrow. The shortest verse in the Bible is descriptive of Jesus' reaction to these two wonderful friends and their grief: Jesus wept. The next time you hear yourself saying, "If only.." remember that God hears and feels with you. Jesus reveals God's love for us is deep enough to weep with us.

The second spiritual truth is found in Jesus' action: he raises Lazarus from the dead and restores this beloved brother to his sisters.

I have noticed that most of the time when we say, "If only.." it's because we believe that the outcome has already been decided. There is no hope for change. "If only.." is our response when the situation has caromed out of control and we no longer believe that God can do something wonderful. That's the conclusion that Martha and Mary came to. Since Jesus hadn't been there, he no longer could affect the outcome. It was a done deal. It wasn't true. Jesus overturned their assumed final outcome.

I wonder how many times you and I have assumed the absence of Jesus only to discover, on the other side of events, that he was present through those events? I wonder how often you and I have looked back on situations where it appeared that God was inactive or inattentive only to see how God was at work - and we just didn't know it? That's the ultimate promise of this text. Jesus will never strand us in our "if onlys". We can trust that - and then watch to see how God will be active in love.

Lord Jesus, remind me that my "if onlys" are never permanent. Amen